Crisis at the U.S. - Canadian Border
The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past weeks, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The Republicans winning the Senate is prompting an exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and live according to the Constitution.
Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, global warming activists, and "green" energy proponents crossing their fields at night.
"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Southern Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota . “The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left before I even got a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"
In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. He then installed loudspeakers that blared Rush Limbaugh across the fields, but they just keep coming.
Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into electric cars and drive them across the border where they are simply left to fend for themselves after the battery dies.
"A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a single bottle of Perrier drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though, and some kale chips."
When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about plans being made to build re-education camps where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and study the Constitution.
In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half- dozen young vegans in blue-hair wig disguises, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior citizens about Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were alive in the '50s. "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we become very suspicious about their age," an official said.
Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage, buying up all the Barbara Streisand c.d.'s, and renting all the Michael Moore movies. "I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors does one country need?"
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I fear we are once again slipping into the world of U.S. politics. No mas from me.
"changing the political landscape"? Doesn't that just mean that nothing will continue to be achieved, but at a much slower pace?
how much slower could it get...as Harry R has not let ANYTHING to thru his office to be voted on.?
How much slower? Can a slug move slower than a tortoise? I predict more of the same for the foreseeable future. This is what the majority of Americans want, apparently - a Congress that achieves nothing, while being paid handsomely for the privilege of "serving". Glad my home is in Panama now.
ok, so only 32 % of eligible voters turned up THIS time , how many turned up the previous elections?
now , why was this election % important in this thread?
Bjorn, you're an architect. Doors swing both ways. You opened one with the original post which implies Liberals are leaving the U.S. because of current events.
LOL...doors are swung from one door jamb....open in and out , 90 degrees...very few swing both ways = in to both rooms at 180 degrees...even so, .....yes it swings both ways...that's why I asked how many % voted in the other elections , where they won....
This needs to be sent to Stevie Harper.
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