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This is for all you "sexy" senior guys.... reposted from

A Red Flag

A couple days ago I got a call from the FBU department of the U.S. Embassy in Panama City. An American Citizen, living in Chiriquí had lost his social security benefits because he had not responded to a notice requesting him to verify he was still alive.

The Embassy asked if I could meet with him, verify he was the one on his passport. I then needed to have him fill out a required form and send the form and a copy of his passport to the Embassy. I met with him the other morning. He was a little desperate as he had missed two social security payments. He said his Panamanian wife was very nervous. I told him that the Embassy would have the forms within the hour. He seemed relieved.

Yesterday morning I received a call from him. He said his wife was concerned about possibly receiving less money. I told him I didn’t work for the agency, but if the only problem was the lack of proof that he was alive, his missing payments would be paid and the regular payments would be the same as before.

Then he clarified that she was concerned about how much money she would get if he died. I said he really needed to talk to the Social Security office, but there were strict rules on if a spouse would get benefits from a death and how much the benefits would be.

I know, in general, the marriage has to have been at least 10 years and the person filing for benefits must be at least 62 years of age. At least that is my understanding. I don’t know all of the other restrictions that apply.

However, his wife asking this question raised a big red flag in my mind. He had been married for 3 years. I hope he explains the rules to her and that may mean she will insure he is alive for another 7 years.

He was suffering some health problems and I am not sure that the highest concern on his wife’s mind was his health. I rather think it was her income should he die.

I have posted this warning before. If you are a single man, over the age of 60 and you come to Panama and notice that you are now a chick magnet, beware. It is not the pheromones in the air, it is the dollar signs. Many Panamanians have heard if they marry a U.S. citizen they will be eligible to receive a U.S. Social Security benefit.

I hope I am wrong about this red flag, but my gut tells me I am not.

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In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king  : )

I agree with you Michael, that relationships should be respected for all kinds of reasons.... except deception.  The story is for people who believe that they are loved but who are really only being exploited.

Thank you, Michael. My relationship with a woman who is almost 25 years younger than myself has been questioned by some. For the record, I wasn't looking for younger, I just happened to fall in love with a person who came into the world after me. If she's willing to share some of the best years of her life with me, and with the likelihood that I'll check out first, I'm wondering why I wouldn't strive to leave her as comfortable as possible?

as our good friend Sly would always say back in the day......"different strokes for different folks .....and so on and so on and scooby dooby dooby"
















Sometimes I'm right then I can be wrong
My own beliefs are in my songs
A butcher, a banker, a drummer and then
Makes no difference what group I'm in
I am everyday people

There is a blue one who can't accept
The green one for living with
A black ones tryin' to be a skinny one
Different strokes for different folks
And so on and so on and scooby dooby dooby

Ooh sha sha
We gotta live together
I am no better and neither are you
We're all the same whatever we do
You love me you hate me
You know me and then
Still can't figure out the bag I'm in
I am everyday people

There is a long man
That doesn't like the short man
For being such a rich one
That will not help the poor one
Different strokes for different folks
And so on and so on scooby dooby dooby

Ooh sha sha
We got to live together

There is a yellow one that won't
Accept the black one
That won't accept the red one
That won't accept the white one

Different strokes for different folks
And so on and so on and
Scooby dooby dooby
Ooh sha sha
I am everyday people

I always look at communication.  If a couple both speak english (or whatever), and there is no communication or understand of the mates point of view, the relationship is doomed, where the stay together or not.  You have to be able to talk, to laugh at each others corny jokes. While being an individual, it helps if you are on the same page most of the time, or can at least have a good heated discussion.

Gringo (gringa) moves here, three months later they are in love with a Panamanian who speaks no english.  He or she speaks two dozen words of spanish.  What is the depth of that relationship, once the covers are throw back in the morning?  That having been said, I guess you pays your money and you takes your chances.  For the guy in this picture, it might be money well spent.  Maybe he is not lonely for the first time in his life.  A pre-nup. might be in order here.  In Panama, I think the spouse gets half, even after a three month marriage.

Alway exceptions, for sure.  But, she was in the U.S..  More often than not, these relationships do not work out.  I would be concerned if the young women in question has an angry ex-spouce or boyfriend.  The guys here don't exactly jump up and down in glee, when some rich gringo (in their eyes)  take (in their eyes) their women away. 

Please don't think I care about this issue one way or the other, I don't. It's a free world.  I would not want some enraged x following a couple to my home, in any situation, in any country.  If threats are made, keep it at home.  Do not bring it to my door, just sayin....

There is no simple answer, just ask yourself questions...

Coincidence! I know another fellow named Lon with Lonliness self-image issues ...

Almost every woman who didn't marry their high school sweetheart knows what it's like to be the arm candy of an older man. I remember the looks and the grins of approving geezers when I was brought to a party by a man 15 years older than me. I didn't like the controlling aspects that came with the "older man" relationships back then or to be told my music was not worth listening to. Few women desire a man old enough to be her father unless she has parental issues or is bein compensated some way. Those of us who enjoy profound conversations find it rather limiting to be with someone who is of another generation and can not relate. Not everyone likes to talk, I can understand that, but looks are so fleeting. As a mother and a teacher, I frown upon men who allow themselves to entertain the idea that they should date a much younger woman. Woody Allen is a brilliant director, but I think he is a pedophile and crossed a line that keeps society safe. For those who think if the shoe was on the other foot, we would change our minds, you are wrong. As an art teacher I even had proposals written into final essays from young studs who had a crush. Students went to college and came back hoping to date me, but I was not interested. Prostitution is legal in Panama, so Sugar Daddies will prevail, but extremes in ages will always provoke people's minds. No one should ever be judged in this forum, or have their feelings hurt, but if you feel the need to justify a relationship, you may already have concerns. No one is going to admire a man who "buys" himself a young miss with trips, a car or jewelry. People can see that it is a relationship based on mutual give and take, but good friends will accept your choice and stand by you. No need to see the visuals tho......

I have been sick a few days and probably grumpy too. On the mend now, I read Carolyns post and went back to read the entire thread to be sure... Yes, the general topic of May-December relationships has been discussed in several of the other Yahoo Forums, and this thread is the most civil and pleasant read I can recall. I truly appreciate it.

So, I will find the courage to post an anecdote from a college course I took (a long time ago).

A girlfriend of that day and I decided to take an elective course together titled "Marriage and Family". I didn't have great expectations but everybody had to choose some electives. It turned out the Prof was excellent and the course content has come to mind many times over the years.

The Prof constantly involved the class by asking questions, insisting that the class respond. Then, with a smile the Prof would give us the correct answer. So, the question came, "For a successful relationship, what is the only *essential* requirement?"

"Love", "Respect", "Compatibility", "Honesty", "Enough money"... and so it went, with a "No" for each one. Then, the answer: "Agree On Roles"

Agree on roles? Yes. All the world over, relationships come in all types. Across the spectrum of cultures the variations of relationship types is tremendous. Some cultures even arrange for the eventual mate in early childhood. How can this be? Such a simple thing? I believe it is true...

Agree on roles. Be happy.

Flaky crescents.


We have to agree on roles... you can keep the flaky ones, buttery buns are better.

Torcido Tambien


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